whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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