you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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