Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
