i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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