ya dads aren't the best wingmen
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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