oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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