Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's the barista slut.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
