You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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