I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
