I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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