I wish I only lived at night.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
