I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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