I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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