After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
