If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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