I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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