she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize