There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
