you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I believe in your delicious
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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