remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
