Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
