I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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