To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
