listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
