she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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