took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
