The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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