There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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