i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
