I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
