Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
