I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
