Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
