They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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