They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I bet he comes in French.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.