You're completely useless in the revolution.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
