Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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