arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
