i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
