No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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