so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
