even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
