so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
