why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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