She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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