okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
