help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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