Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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