Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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