oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
