And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
