He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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