This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
