i wish my penis had a tongue
this will be a night to untag.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
