This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
