What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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