$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
